‘kay. I know there are folks out there who are all, “Microsoft sucks!” and “Down with the Windows Monopoly!” and “Bill Gates is a megalomaniac who sits alone in his dark tower late at night slowly reading through his plans for world domination to the sound of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor streaming from his Media Player”
Yeah. I don’t know much about that. Because I really don’t care. I’m one of those results-oriented people who, upon being presented with some new techno-thingamabobber that makes ridiculously complicated, time-consuming and boring tasks a thousand times easier and faster, will look at that thingamabobber, shout, “Woo-HOO!” pick it up and go my merry way.
Doesn’t matter to me who made it.
Except for, you know, the whole reliability thing. And the security thing. As long as it takes care of those issues and doesn’t implode in the first month, I’m good. In fact, I’m so pro-thingamabobber, (and maybe just a little too inquisitive) that I have more programs and accounts and news and miscellaneous stuff than I know what to do with.
So when I saw the headline of this article today, these three little words sent me into a state of ecstasy:
No. More. Passwords.
Do you KNOW how many accounts I have? ‘Cuz I sure don’t. I tried to hunt them all down last year – not just to a) fix my Comcast spam problem, but because b) it would be challenge and c) I hate passwords. I lost all hope somewhere around #123.
Passwords piss me off. They have to be tricky, they have to be long, they have to be different and they have to be something I can remember, but no one else will guess. And all without writing them down anywhere, ever. I’d like to ask the smarty-pants folks who created this system if THEY remember their 15 year old Prodigy password.
I’m so sick of passwords, in fact, that I turned that mantra into my very last password at eBay. One month before I left, some new system tool got released that not only required me to add one more password to a list of crap I had to access that didn’t take my NT Login, the rules for creating this new password were about as long as my fricking leg and required a degree in advanced quantum bleeping physics. For a tool I never used. Not once.
I was so hacked about having to create yet ANOTHER password with a REQUIRED length and REQUIRED numbers and REQUIRED uppercasing and REQUIRED special characters that I couldn’t write down or save as a hot key, and if you know me, you understand this challenge: ONE I WOULD NEVER REMEMBER IN A HUNDRED MILLION YEARS.
Realizing this fact, I figured I might as well throw the finger and came up with this:
1Morefu&in@Password
And now I’ll remember that one untill the day I die.
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