Excuse Me Whilst I Get off My A$$
Today is the first day I’ve felt even remotely functional since June 6th, a day that will forever live in infamy (if only in my head, har har) as the day Quasimonose died a very bloody death. And a day in which, yet again, I gave yet another spectacular demonstration of unrealistic expectations mere moments before surgery, when responding to Dr. Rooney’s ‘do you have any questions’ wrap-up with these gems:
- So I’ll be up & running for work on Monday, right?
- How soon can I go back to the gym? (AS THOUGH I HAD BEEN THERE IN THE LAST 30 DAYS. WAY TO PLAY IT, SISTAH.)
To be fair, I was working from the breezy, easy, ‘I do this allll the time, you’ll be fine,” picture painted by Dr. Rooney and the surgical staff. Not that they withheld any detail of information, mind you, but I’m a pretty easy sell.
Three and half hours after surgery, I was sleeping without my oxygen levels tanking to 80 when they finally released me. I’ll tell ya, 80 felt just fiiiine to me. It felt exactly the way I breathe when I sleep, which is all I wanted to do, but no. Apparently 80 is B.A.D. and they just had to keep waking me to say so. And to puff in this stupid plastic thing that I kept trying to suck.
Vaguely aware of the tone in my (assumed student) nurse’s voice, I got the impression they were verging on the idea of keeping me overnight, which concerned me greatly because not only did I have no clue how much that would cost, I was damn sure it was 100% more than I cared to spend. And also? It might mean I’d miss the mid-season finale of Battlestar Gallactica. GOD FORFEND.
The highlights of post-op recovery and BSG notwithstanding, my memory of last weekend is pretty much nill. Kleenex, Sprite, sleeping in a chair, living in my pjs and surgical socks while Trav doted on my every need is about it…oh yeah. Except for the nine hours on Sunday when I lost track of when exactly I’d taken my last dose, so I didn’t take any, and then proceeded to try to catch up and then threw up my entire head at 4:30am, and 5am, and 6:30AM because of that whole ‘you have to eat something with Vicodin’ that I totally didn’t read.
My tongue shrivelled into something resembling a 20-year sundried tomato every night and somehow I unintentionally avoided my own reflection for a week, until one afternoon when we drove down to Black Diamond to take Trav’s bike to the shop. I’d jumped at the chance to get out of the house, thinking how much better I felt, how maybe we could stop and eat somewhere because look! I have real clothes on and everything! Then I swung down the sunvisor mirror to put on some lipstick. Which I immediately realized was pointless. And that I was’t going ANYWHERE, not even into the bike shop, because I was the Evil Dead. And would be for some time.
I was coherent enough to work from home most of last week, thankfully able to filter any drug-induced stupidity from all my emails but one. And although I made it to the office on Wednesday and Friday, none of my days last week were remotely as productive as I wanted.
I feel pretty lame for not having left a note on the ‘door’ so to speak – a few pitiful status updates on Twitter and Facebook were all I could muster. There are a multitude of posts I’ve been pining to finish and hope to publish in the week ahead. But as I attack the mountain of tasks at work that must come first, here are a few glittery things that caught my attention last week I think are worth sharing:
- Classics in Lego – ‘Behind the Gare Saint-Lazare’, ‘Lunch Atop a Skyscraper’ and more famous photos recreated in Legos. Absolutely fabulous.
- Daily Candy – I admit it. I love this mostly for the arwork. But the fashion & travel finds are delish, too. (other Daily Candy locations: London, Chicago, New York, Dallas.)
- Little Capers - For all my friends with kids. Super cute Super capes, that I suppose are supposed to help avert those pesky lttle subjects such as ‘powers’ and ‘fighting’ and ‘conflict’. Not sure RecycleMan, the Non-Violent Puppy Petter automatically comes to mind when one’s tying two ends of a towel across your neck and you’re climing the roof with a Safeway bag, but what do I know?
© 2008, jules.maas. All rights reserved.
oh, yeah. right. That was the all-important episode BEFORE the mid-season finale, which was so very critical for me to see because I had brilliantly figured Roslyn to be the final cylon a month ago, and was drooling to be proved correct.
obviously that episode had a huge impact on me, seeing as A) I was beyond hopelessly, naively wrong and B)I did see the mid-season finale THREE DAYS AGO, again LAST NIGHT, and STILL thought it was over a week old because the rest of the season?! So far! SO FAR AWAY!!
GAH.
The mid-season finale was on the 13th, not the 6th. I sure hope you didn’t miss it.
And, of course, glad to hear that you’re doing better. But BSG always comes first.